Couples therapy

When should one seek couples therapy?

My recommendation is always: sooner rather than later.

I've often heard people in couples therapy say, "I'm sorry we didn't do this sooner…"

Couples often come to therapy with a lot of suffering and unhealed wounds that have accumulated over the years. The process will then be much longer and require a great deal of commitment from both parties.

As soon as recurring signs of misunderstanding, lack of connection, criticism, demands, isolation, lack of desire... appear, and one notices that, although there has been reconciliation and rapprochement, something has remained unresolved or unrepaired, it is best not to wait and intervene to delve deeper and explore the mechanisms of the couple's disagreement.

Another possible reason for consultation is a serious breakdown of trust in the bond, such as infidelity in couples with monogamy agreements.

My goal is for couples and each of their members to be able to...

...Repair the ruptures in the bond and heal the wounds they entail.

...Relinquish power struggles and open spaces for encounter where the important thing is not being right, but listening and understanding each other.

...Increase the capacity to show vulnerability, discover the strength that resides in that place, and the union that creates in the couple by recognizing their differences and discovering intimacy and desire in that space.

...Experience vitality, fulfillment, intimacy, and connection instead of criticism, mistrust, exhaustion, and distance.

Another possible goal may be to help the couple separate from a place of respect.

What is the process like in Couples therapy?

The first step is to establish a climate of trust and security in which neither partner feels judged.

• We want to clearly identify, as quickly as possible, the recurring and limiting dynamics that keep the couple "stuck".

• We delve into each partner's emotional experience and identify individual obstacles to changing this relationship pattern.

• We practice new ways of relating, expressing, and communicating.

Initial protocol: First joint session followed by an individual session for each partner.

First couple session: 2 hours

Subsequent sessions: 1.5 hours

As the process unfolds, I may propose additional individual sessions.